Monday 16th July
Fuck. What a weekend! Fetish week was great. Saw all your mates, got loads of dick. Humm, you should probably book in at the clinic... Still, so fucking good. But ugh. Work this morning. Bed was cozy. Still best move your ass and get in...
Tuesday 17th July
It's only Tuesday? Fuck. And you're horny again. Not even been a week since Decon. Maybe a wank will help. Looking around on your phone, there is a guy on recon. Cute smile. Something about him but can't put your finger on it. You cruise him. Then bed.
Wednesday 18th July
Wednesday. You're awake too early though. But half way through the week. You check your phone. The guy from last night, he wants to fuck, this evening. Sleazy fucker wants to play raw. You're down for that. You message back enthusiastically. It's sorted.
Work is dragging and only 10am. Still, messaging that hot fucker is helping. He's into loads of the same stuff as you. He is gonna wear some chav gear and a mask when he fucks you tonight. And he's told you exactly what trackies and trainers to wear.
Finally you're out of work! Dear God those meetings dragged. Who cares about all that social influence crap. Anyway, you need to rush home and get ready for this evening. Grab a snack, clean out and head over to his place. Better not be late he said.
You got to the guys house and let yourself in as instructed and locked the door and went into the room you were told. Fuck. He gets down and points you down to his trainers. You don't need telling twice. You get down and start licking. They stink of spunk.
He pulls you off his soaked tns, grabs you and throws you in the sling. Before you know what's going on, he's cable tied your hands to the chains. Tight. It's uncomfortable and you can't move. Then he's torn a hole in your trackies. The fuck? 'Shut up cunt'.
Next thing you know he pulls his trackies down, gobs on his raw cock and rams it in you. You're soon being brutally fucked until eventually he cums inside you. While he shoots you hear him mutter something, but you can't make out what. Not english...?
But who cares. You got the fuckers load. He grabs a knife. What The Hell? He cuts the cable ties and drags you out the sling. Before you have time to woke out what is going on your outside his house.
The massive hole in your trackies obvious.
Your mind is spinning. You've got a walk home with a massive hole in your trackies. Across town, everyone is gonna see. And that knife, fucking hell for a minute there... But damn, the trackies, the mask. And his raw load. Fuck, so hot. Best get walking.
Shit. Everyone is looking at you. A couple of people sniggering. Just get home... ... And focus on clenching. Don't wanna waste that spunk.
You get home and crash to bed. That was a fucking evening. You settle down, still full of his spunk. Checking your phone before you sleep, he's messaged: 'See you soon' Guess he enjoyed it too. Hardly said a thing though. Other than, what was it...?
Thursday 19th July
You bolt upright in bed, jumping awake. Dripping in sweat. Him. His masked face and talking, but you still don't understand what he was saying. A nightmare. Just a nightmare. You check the time. It's just gone 3am. Far too early. Back to sleep.
Aside from the nightmare, you've been sick three times with blood. The fever is insane, you're dripping with sweat but feel so cold. Your whole body aches. No work for you today, drag yourself to the doc. Hope you've not given whatever it is to him.
You make it down the doc. It's already crowded with little old ladies. How the fuck do they do that? Motorised zimmer frames? You register and they tell you to take a seat. You sit away from everyone and no one comes near. You look like shit. Waiting...
Your head is spinning and your feeling worse. Can't just sit and wait. You stagger up to the reception desk, everyone looking. 'I... I don't feel so good...' You collapse and pass out.
You wake up in an ambulance. There is an IV in your arm and the thing is beeping. You hear the sirens and panic. 'It's OK, we're getting some fluids in you and getting you to hospital' says the Paramedic next to you.
You come to again, your on a hospital ward. You already know that, you've been in and out of consciousness all morning. The IV, the beeping. A Doctor nearby comes over. 'How are you feeling?'
'Yeah, shit' you reply.
'Your bloods show your body is in shock, but we haven't picked anything up yet. Have you taken anything?'
'Drugs? Hell no!' you say back.
'Sorry, I had to ask' The doctor keeps talking.
You feel woozy. Then you see his mask. The guy from last night.
How the fuck can he be here?! You look again, and it's just a normal guy walking past, not even anyone you recognise. The doctor gives you a funny look.
Great, now I'm hallucinating you say to yourself.
Then you're gone again...
You’ve no idea what’s going on, one minute your conscious, the next you are gone again. In the moments you are awake you keep thinking you see the guy with his mask on walking past. Sometimes he is looking at you and talking, at one point he said see you soon.
A doctor comes over, seeing you are awake.
‘Hello there. We’ve had some further test results back. I can’t dress this up, things are not looking good, your organs are showing signs of damage and shutting down. We’re still running tests and doing everything we can, but is there anything at all you can tell us?’
‘What? What on earth? No, I was fine until this morning. What’s going to happen to me?’
‘We’re doing everything we can to stabilise you. We’re just about to transfer you to intensive care.’ replies the Doctor.
‘But, I don’t understand.’
‘I’m sorry, I wish I could give you more answers. We’re doing the best we can for you’.
As the Doctor walks off, he speaks to two porters who wheel you out of the ward and down the corridors, the florescent lights flashing past above you.
They soon get you to ICU and you’re handed over to the ward staff, who soon have you wired up to all the machines.
No sooner do they get you settled you slip away again.
But you still hear. The life support machine makes a continuous noise.
‘He’s crashing, get the team here!’ someone yells.
You open your eyes, and realise it’s you they are talking about, but you are outside your body, watching what is going on. A defibrillator is changed and then shoved on your chest, your body spasming before you.
Still the machine makes the continuous noise, just like on the TV.
You watch as they do it again, and again. Injecting drugs. Your body in front of you not responding to the chaos as they try to save you. But nothing is working. After some time, they agree to stop and declare you dead.
‘But I’m still here!!!’ you yell at them.
But they are unable to hear you.
You try to grab them as they walk out the door but you can’t touch them.
‘Help! Help! I’m still here!’ you yell, and then begin sobbing to yourself, but no tears fall down your cheeks.
You try to run after them, but to no avail, you can’t seem to move more than a few feet from your lifeless body.
Then slowly, as if the sun were setting it starts getting darker and colder, until all is black. You don’t know if you are asleep or not. You have no sense of where you are and no feeling. Just black around you. You must be asleep, maybe it’s all just another nightmare.
You see something in the dark. You must be awake. Probably at home, but there’s none of the lights of home. No light from around the windows, or coming under the door. Where are you?
The something starts getting closer, you can see it’s bathed in red light, as it gets closer you realise it’s the guy from last night, in his trackies and mask again.
‘You… What the fuck is going on?’
‘I told you I would see you soon’ he replies.
You melt at his voice, there is something about him that is so fucking hot. Then you realised, he didn’t speak in English, but that you understand him.
‘Well, yes, you did. And I’m here. Now what’s going on?!’ you demand to know.
‘You really don’t know, do you? Interesting. Well you were the fastest yet to join me. I must be getting stronger.’ Almost pondering aloud to himself. ‘But yes, you, well, you’re dead obviously. You remember that much?’ he asks you.
‘Oh, I was hoping that was just a nightmare’
‘A nightmare. Your nightmare hasn’t even begun. Your dead, and you’re going to join my pets.’ He laughs. ‘A Demon has to do something for entertainment. Finding fresh meat and bringing it back livens up eternity a bit. And it’s so easy now you all use these apps. Desperate fools.’
‘What on earth, that can’t… it’s not real?’ you stutter.
He clicks his fingers, and the darkness falls away and you are both standing in a cavern of red rock, there is a throne in the middle, and human bones scattered around. Everything is bathed in a dark red light, but there is no light source.
‘When I fucked you I was incantating, my seed in you finished the work. Usually it takes a few days to get to work, but well, I have been busy lately.’ He grins.
‘Wraiths!’ He yells. ‘Take him away’. He turns back to you, ‘Don’t worry, they’ll fuck you up until you are more attractive to me. I’ll enjoy your screams. See you in a few hundred years…
The distorted human forms appear and grab you with their bony hands and drag you off in to the dark, while you kick and scream to no avail…
Wednesday, 4 July 2018
Having HepC sucked.
Being told you have it sucked, treatment sucked.
Headaches, sleepless nights and fatigue were the worst.
Being told made me feel sick.
It was doing a usual STI check up, I got the call from the clinic, not the feel good text. I thought it was going to be gonorrhoea. I called back, the nurse explained in a normal every day voice, no nicey nicey here. Boom! Tears, in the middle of the office. I had to wander off. I didn’t expect this at all. Not one bit. I was asked of it was unexpected by the nurse. I felt sick, that, fall to the floor hands in head sick. I felt so dirty inside. Having been told I was HIV+ would have been easier. Of all the things I dreaded catching was this. This was the worst.
Numerous studies demonstrate that the prevalence of hepatitis C is higher among the population living with HIV (particularly among MSM) than people who are do not have HIV. The greater likelihood of coinfection with hepatitis C is they are more likely to have sleazy raw bb sex. You know, the really hot kind.
HepC treatment has come a long way, its very expensive. However, it doesn't stop you getting it again, you don't become immune, and there are different strains which require different treatment. Currently the NHS allows 1 treatment per person. Before they are willing to give it to you. They asses you for eligibility, such as willingness to changing your behaviour (giving up drugs).
While I won't be talking about sharing needles or straws as a cause for infection, which hopefully is a given. Some extreme (well.. extreme to some.. pure bliss to others) sexual activities pose a risk.
Unlike HIV which is very fragile outside the body, HepC is a fighter and can survive potentially up to forty-eight hours outside the body, even in dry blood. The risk of sexual transmission is debated, but it is generally accepted as being very low – much lower than many other identified transmission routes for hepatitis C, that said, fisting isn’t your usual sex now is it.
• The highest risk sexual activity is unprotected fisting. Damage to the cuticles (skin around the finger nails) is very common, as is damage to the lining of the rectum.
• Sharing tubs/bottles of lube or sex toys is also risky. The hepatitis C virus is fairly robust and can survive potentially up to 48 hours on the surface of a sex toy or on and in a tub/bottle of lube.
• Irrespective of whether you are top or bottom, it is possible to contract hepatitis C through unprotected anal intercourse - due to tearing.
This means to us fist pigs, probably the biggest risk we take, even when wearing gloves, is grabbing the other persons lube bottle by mistake, or 'just use mine' you know, when someone makes it too thin or they run out. We worry what’s inside the glove when we need to be conscious of the outside too.
Used gloves should be taken off and tuned inside out but tie them off for good measure.
A few small changes in behavior and we really can reduce the risks to yourself and others.
- Before it was discovered in 1989, hepatitis C was called “non-A non-B hepatitis”.
- There is no vaccine to protect against hepatitis C.
- There are no disclosure laws around HepC, sexual partners are not obliged to tell you.
- Around 25% of people will clear the virus themselves. If that doesn't happen, you can choose to have treatment.
- The virus can only be transmitted by infected blood. Not cum.
I got though it. But I learnt a lot. I play pretty much the same as I used to, only I'm such more aware of where my hands go with bottles or gloves, I don’t play raw handed. I don't do drugs anyway. I'm much more aware of my play scenes.
This post is a guest post from a follower who wanted to talk about their experience of HepC.