Get the right equipment
Start with the smallest toy you can find. Get some lube, I prefer something a bit thick that stays put on a toy. Water based is probably easier than silicon lube. I used to like lubrifist, but get a couple and see what you like. Get some poppers too if you want to. Get a small bulb douche too and grab some puppy pads from the pound shop (easier clean up than towels!).
Often when I’m playing with toys at home I don’t bother douching. If you’re not that squeamish then just feel free to play. If you’d rather avoid shit when playing, have a clean out with the douche. Use body temp water and three to six cycles of water should clean your butt out. You don’t need to clean deep at this point. There are other articles with advice on douching online but note - don’t add anything to the water when douching. I don’t find douching that fun and usually shove some cheese pop music on, your mileage may vary!
When you are sorted out, make sure your environment is right. Comfortable temperature, sort the lighting, put some music and/or porn on. This is your time for playing with yourself, put the same effort you would put in to preparing if someone was coming to play. You’re worth it! Wear something sexy too that gives you good access to your butt.
Put a puppy pad down or towel where you play. Get comfortable, maybe it’s on your bed on or on the floor. I put my toys on the toilet and then squat down on it. Then lube up, plenty of lube on the toy and stick some lube on your hole.
Then gently start playing and exploring. Don’t try to shove the hole toy in at once, start with a little and feel your hole and notice how it feels. Rather than pushing in, focus on relaxing, take nice long breaths and as you breathe out imagine your hole opening up and sucking the toy in. Focus on playing and exploring, work out how your butt feels. Keep using lube on the toy and your hole, you can never use too much lube. It doesn’t matter if you don’t take all the toy, if you’ve had a session exploring your butt that’s great! Play the long game, you don’t need to do it all in a session.
If you find yourself pushing and shoving, stop, take a break and refocus on relaxing nice big deep breaths and try and take a little more of the toy as you breathe out.
When done give your butt a wipe with the pad or towel so you don’t leave lube everywhere. Clean up the toy with soap and water, and then give it a soak in some water with sterilizing tablet(s) in – follow the directions on the packet.
Then fix yourself a cup of tea and a treat. Good job!